How strange that today’s ‘daily prompt’ from wordpress is “flourish”. It’s a good word for what the last few weeks – unemployed and not even an interview yet – have been for me.
This week has gotten me down, really feeling like a failure who can’t get her head together with this job search. There are so few roles; there is no feedback when I get the “unfortunately, you have not been successful….” email; there is, also, no plan B. I have to get a job.
So today, to shake my self out of the rut, I went for a jog. And it made me realize that I kind of am flourishing…..
I’ve been walking a lot recently, just to get out of the house, but normally I go just for a 20 minute jog or so (and then lie down and die, obviously). Today, I jogged for 50 minutes. 50 MINUTES! I’m slow as an arthritic snail, but holy moly – I’ve never jogged for over 30 minutes before in my LIFE.
So barring my heart-rate training watch messing up and giving me an extra 20 minutes (believe me, I checked, I seriously thought it was a mistake), I am fitter right now than I’ve ever been in my life. Unemployment sucks but I guess not for my cardiovascular heath!
Which got me thinking of other ways I’ve been flourishing in this enforced time off. I’ve been painting again for the first time in years. I’ve learnt to make pasta and bread from scratch. I’ve de-grouted the shower (yay?). And I’ve been writing – this blog, and short stories, a novel. And reading and learning from other bloggers. Thing is, even if none of this goes anywhere – I’ve somehow, without realizing how, created these very full and weirdly meaningful days. On Saturday last, the Engineer and I were driving to go on a hike when I got an email with a rejection (seriously, on a Saturday folks?). I threw the phone back in the car, shrugged, and we walked for a few hours through the beautiful Dandenongs in Victoria – and I actually didn’t give the job a second through, just being in that beautiful place.
Don’t get me wrong, I want a job – I like to be busy and I love the work I do. Plus money is handy for eating. But in between applying for things, gosh darn it if I don’t feel the most creative and fulfilled I can ever remember.